Unwanted Dreams

I woke up again with a dream having you in it. I know it was one of those nice dreams where I want it to last a bit longer and never wanting to wake up. But this time I wanted to wake up. As I stared at the ceiling, I thought of you again and how you must be sleeping peacefully on your bed. I swear I had the urge of sending you a text message, but stopped when I saw the time on my phone. It was 0335H in bright turquoise. I stared long hard at it, and realized I?ve woken up again in the wee hours of the morning. I tried to go back to sleep but couldn?t. My mind pushed me into thinking of you again. I wanted to scream. ?For Pete?s sake please stop thinking about him! In fact, quit thinking full stop!?

I DNT KNW WATS KPING ME DRAWN 2 U. UR SMBDY I LUK 4WRD 2 SEEING EACH DAY. U MY NT KNW I EXIST BT STIL M ALWYS HIR, W8NG 4 U 2 LUK MY WAY ND APREC8 MY XSTENCE?

That anonymous text haunted me. At one point I wished it were you who sent it. But then again it was sent to me by mistake from some stranger who perhaps feels the same way about someone. I do wonder about this strange feeling. A lot. I go out of my mind just analyzing everything until I get tired of figuring things out. To you I may just be another friend, but to me?you gave me something to look forward to every morning, at the same time an absurd reason for me not wanting to get out of bed by the thought of seeing you and you not knowing how much this burdens me. Sometimes you scare me, every little thing you do just turns me on. Everyday I see you so unaware of the situation. And for that I envy you.
Yet you look so burdened by life that you just want to stop the world from turning. The past haunts you like mad. I want to help you, that if no one is willing to put you out of it, I just might raise my hand and volunteer. Let me take your pain, I say. Use me for healing, until you find the one.
The thing is, I don?t wish for you to feel the same way. My only prayer is for my heart to take everything as is, even if it means not getting what I want.
We don?t have a future together. We live in different worlds, you and I. It?s up to you to make the choice, though. Because frankly I?m willing to do anything...
Promise, I will let go of you soon. Just give me time. I hope by that time it will be for good.

Written by my dear friend who wanted so much to show the world how she feels about him..but couldn't because sometimes..it's better to leave things the way they are...or maybe it's not yet time...