Imagination works. It creates the blueprint of a plan, a dream, a goal, and an objective. It is a solitary thought that grows on its own when fed with ambition or the willingness to execute it into a practicable reality.--Jill Centino
Note: I got this quote from Anj's nice blog (thanks anj)...
I have always been very creative and imaginative. Certain names colors, pictures, and images appear in my head all the time. I write all these things down so that I won't be able to forget about it. After two years of working in different companies and getting myself into different fields, I am finally making my dream into a reality.
It's true what they say..when you can't sleep and stop thinking about something, you have to find a way to do whatever it is that you have to do. I felt that I wasn't cut out to be an employee and that I really wanted to be an entrepreneur.
Orange Chicken was born during those times when I couldn't sleep at night. Fortunately, I have a very supportive family. At the end of Feb or early March, we will be launching Orange Chicken. A dream that came true because of my imagination.
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Friday, February 04, 2005
Delicious Ambiguity
I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity.
--GILDA RADNER
I am very much contented with the little surprises of my life and yet I couldn't stop but think that the happiness and contentment that I am feeling right now will soon be over and replaced by misery. Quite a contradiction to my positive outlook on life.
I am scared that one day something really bad will happen and all these things that are going on in my life will soon be over in a second. Fear of the Unknown can really get to me sometimes but somehow despite the uncertainties, I still feel compelled to go on and indulge. After all, we only live once. Gilda Radner was right, life is a delicious ambiguity...and I have decided to enjoy it while I still can.
Oh and by the way, I don't regret ever taking the plunge and leaving Singledom..."Commitmenthood" agrees with me...
--GILDA RADNER
I am very much contented with the little surprises of my life and yet I couldn't stop but think that the happiness and contentment that I am feeling right now will soon be over and replaced by misery. Quite a contradiction to my positive outlook on life.
I am scared that one day something really bad will happen and all these things that are going on in my life will soon be over in a second. Fear of the Unknown can really get to me sometimes but somehow despite the uncertainties, I still feel compelled to go on and indulge. After all, we only live once. Gilda Radner was right, life is a delicious ambiguity...and I have decided to enjoy it while I still can.
Oh and by the way, I don't regret ever taking the plunge and leaving Singledom..."Commitmenthood" agrees with me...
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Saying goodbye to Singledom
Love is a choice -- not simply, or necessarily, a rational choice, but rather a willingness to be present to others without pretense or guile. Love is a conversion to humanity -- a willingness to participate with others in the healing of a broken world and broken lives. Love is the choice to experience life as a member of the human family, a partner in the dance of life, rather than as an alien in the world or as a deity above the world, aloof and apart from human flesh.
-- Carter Heyward
Passion for Justice
Other girls would love to have a commitment..I on the other hand think otherwise...I have been single (and happy) for so long that I actually don't remember how to be a girlfriend. I think I was traumatized by past lovers and guys who hurt me, then again, I think not. I dated, I went out with friends, I did everything I ever wanted. Freedom at its peak, so to speak.
Then one day someone came and told me he likes me. (What were you thinking?!!!)
Don't get me wrong, I didn't feed him food that has "gayuma" or anything of that sort. I was myself the whole time and the one thing I couldn't believe was that someone was capable of loving/liking me even if I didn't long for anyone. (Yes, at this point I realized I have been single for so long...)
I ran away from anything that resembled commitment (romantically that is...). Just thinking about having one makes me sick..you know, that whole can't breathe, hyperventilating, ulcer attack thing happens to me... (right osang?). But then again, maybe I was wrong all along...maybe that change I was looking for was just right under my nose. Maybe I needed to commit to someone in order to feel a sense of purpose...of being loved and loving in return.
So here I am at a crossroad trying to decide whether I want to take the plunge or not. I wish I had all the time in the world to decide...but I don't..and I am bad in making decisions. A part of me is telling me to do it and to take the risk, the other part says...hold on to singledom a little bit more.
Singledom was my refuge from anything resembling pain, hurt, anger, and emotion. In singledom I was allowed to be independent, to take whenever I want to take, to give what I can only give, to love what I only want to love, to seek what I only want to seek, to cry only for the joy of my daily triumphs...I wonder, what would happen to me if I leave singledom and move to the now alien territory called Commitment.
The thought is scary but I guess I'd have to dip my hands into it...sooner or later...who knows??
-- Carter Heyward
Passion for Justice
Other girls would love to have a commitment..I on the other hand think otherwise...I have been single (and happy) for so long that I actually don't remember how to be a girlfriend. I think I was traumatized by past lovers and guys who hurt me, then again, I think not. I dated, I went out with friends, I did everything I ever wanted. Freedom at its peak, so to speak.
Then one day someone came and told me he likes me. (What were you thinking?!!!)
Don't get me wrong, I didn't feed him food that has "gayuma" or anything of that sort. I was myself the whole time and the one thing I couldn't believe was that someone was capable of loving/liking me even if I didn't long for anyone. (Yes, at this point I realized I have been single for so long...)
I ran away from anything that resembled commitment (romantically that is...). Just thinking about having one makes me sick..you know, that whole can't breathe, hyperventilating, ulcer attack thing happens to me... (right osang?). But then again, maybe I was wrong all along...maybe that change I was looking for was just right under my nose. Maybe I needed to commit to someone in order to feel a sense of purpose...of being loved and loving in return.
So here I am at a crossroad trying to decide whether I want to take the plunge or not. I wish I had all the time in the world to decide...but I don't..and I am bad in making decisions. A part of me is telling me to do it and to take the risk, the other part says...hold on to singledom a little bit more.
Singledom was my refuge from anything resembling pain, hurt, anger, and emotion. In singledom I was allowed to be independent, to take whenever I want to take, to give what I can only give, to love what I only want to love, to seek what I only want to seek, to cry only for the joy of my daily triumphs...I wonder, what would happen to me if I leave singledom and move to the now alien territory called Commitment.
The thought is scary but I guess I'd have to dip my hands into it...sooner or later...who knows??
Saturday, January 08, 2005
Friday, December 17, 2004
Silent Mouth, Screaming Thoughts
I haven't really posted anything recent yet for december that's worth reading. I guess I have been too busy fixing things in my life. My so called-illness is back..yes, I have laryngitis again..and this is probably due to my stubborn streak. After gaining back my voice last May, I continued to indulge myself in the many things that the doctor told me not to do like smoking, drinking, eating spicy foods, chocolates, pizza, pasta, in short...anything good just to avoid getting sick again.
Today, I woke up with hardly any voice at all and my throat was hurting so bad I really think it's bleeding inside. Coughing felt like someone with long nails was scratching it. I have to conserve the only voice left in order to avoid getting into surgery to get out the nodes. (At least that was what the doc told me)
The only times I have been sick was now and during that time in March when I lost my voice. Twice in a year and my body takes it out on my throat and vocal chords. What a way to punish me for sleeping so late and working so hard. In a way, my body is secretly telling me that I am stressed and overworked..I am.
I'm taking a break from everything...except for writing..this is my only voice for now until my vocal chords are healed.
Today, I woke up with hardly any voice at all and my throat was hurting so bad I really think it's bleeding inside. Coughing felt like someone with long nails was scratching it. I have to conserve the only voice left in order to avoid getting into surgery to get out the nodes. (At least that was what the doc told me)
The only times I have been sick was now and during that time in March when I lost my voice. Twice in a year and my body takes it out on my throat and vocal chords. What a way to punish me for sleeping so late and working so hard. In a way, my body is secretly telling me that I am stressed and overworked..I am.
I'm taking a break from everything...except for writing..this is my only voice for now until my vocal chords are healed.
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
Choose Your Own Adventure
When I was three, I was concerned only with picking out which candy I want Mom to buy for me. In gradeschool, I was concerned with picking out my playmates, my favorite Barbie doll, and my favorite dress. In highschool, I was concerned with the kind of identity that I want to project, the clubs that can enhance my personality, the kind of friends I want to have. In college, it was choosing the right organization, the right course, and the best professors. It was also about choosing what to do after graduation. Then, after graduation, it was choosing between going to law school and working. I chose the latter.
From the time I was able to understand things, choices were handed down to me no matter how important or mundane it was. It felt like I was a character in a choose your own adventure book where you can see what happens if you choose a or b or c...the only difference is that in real life choose your own adventure, choosing one means you'll be left wondering what might have happened to you if you had chosen the other. I was never been able to go back to the start of the story and choose another path again. I think I speak for every one on this. Yet, in every decision I make, I keep in mind to have no regrets.
At 22, I know I made some bad choices especially in the men that I fall in love with (no pun intended..really..) My love for spontainety or getting myself into spur-of-the-moment things got me in trouble at one point or another. Sometimes my tactless mouth unintentionally hurt people I cared about. My lack of self-discipline and momentary depressions led me to gain more pounds rather than lose it. My choice to be really independent has led me to forget some values I held dearly. Admittedly, there is no one to blame but me and my quest to find my purpose in life.
I read this article entitled "Being Twenty-something" forwarded to me by a good friend, and it says that people my age are at their best and worst of times. It's true. I feel that I am at that point in my life where one minute I am laughing at a silly joke and then another I am ranting about the load at work, and sometimes there are moments where I feel like I am going in circles, going nowhere, trying to find my purpose in life.
Some say take my time, some say it'll pass...and I know it will...but for now the greatest challenge is choosing my own adventure and whatever was planned for me, making me, the heroine, a victor in the end. After all, isn't that what we all want?
For the people who taught me to believe in myself...
Monday, November 22, 2004
My Inner Strength...
Memories are like the scent of lemon grass
Has a sour taste but still very sweet
--The Scent of Lemon Grass by Jolin Tsai
This is long overdue..I haven't been able to update my blog...but anyway, here's a take on my recently concluded 22nd birthday....
It's not everyday that I turn 22. With every birthday comes realizations and promises from myself on things I have to do, avoid, and work on. I have so many things to be thankful for but these two things comprise all of it...
1. The gift of family and friends. I think that I am very lucky to have found genuine friends and a loving family who continue to support my decisions in life. Yes, I can be very stubborn at times but I try to back down once in a while. With the people in my life, I never really felt I had no room to grow. At 22, I feel that I am at my best where I can be virually almost anything that I want to be. How many people my age can say that?
2. Having a job that I love. I work hard because I love what I am doing. Training agrees with me and I have done it for so many years already. I don't get bored and I get to meet a lot of people. Each day is a learning experience. But don't get me wrong, it's not all milk and honey, I have to stay up late for OT to finish studying and preparing for class. I have to do a little paper work for evaluations and such but overall, the experience is well worth it.
Life is full of surprises and I am definitely surprised every day..in a good way that is...these people are what keeps me going...they are the reason why I still choose to live life...(so it's not true that being single sucks...it only sucks during christmas and valentine's day...haha)
Has a sour taste but still very sweet
--The Scent of Lemon Grass by Jolin Tsai
This is long overdue..I haven't been able to update my blog...but anyway, here's a take on my recently concluded 22nd birthday....
It's not everyday that I turn 22. With every birthday comes realizations and promises from myself on things I have to do, avoid, and work on. I have so many things to be thankful for but these two things comprise all of it...
1. The gift of family and friends. I think that I am very lucky to have found genuine friends and a loving family who continue to support my decisions in life. Yes, I can be very stubborn at times but I try to back down once in a while. With the people in my life, I never really felt I had no room to grow. At 22, I feel that I am at my best where I can be virually almost anything that I want to be. How many people my age can say that?
2. Having a job that I love. I work hard because I love what I am doing. Training agrees with me and I have done it for so many years already. I don't get bored and I get to meet a lot of people. Each day is a learning experience. But don't get me wrong, it's not all milk and honey, I have to stay up late for OT to finish studying and preparing for class. I have to do a little paper work for evaluations and such but overall, the experience is well worth it.
Life is full of surprises and I am definitely surprised every day..in a good way that is...these people are what keeps me going...they are the reason why I still choose to live life...(so it's not true that being single sucks...it only sucks during christmas and valentine's day...haha)
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
Quotable Kids
Patintero, tumbang preso, piko, agawan base, langit-lupa, luksong baka, if you know these terms then you are part of my generation and probably the previous generations (mga oldies..hehehe). These are games that I used to play with my siblings, cousins and neighbors. Then there's the famous Barbie who debuted at the American Toy Fair in New York City in 1959. Imagine how old she is now! I don't remember my first Barbie but my favorite was the pregnant barbie who even had a baby inside her tummy. These days, most young girls play with Bratz, these hip looking dolls with pouting lips and sporting a look that says "don't mess with me". Now that is what they call "girl power".
Needless to say, my generation thrived on team work, They have bigger and better looking toys..with multi-functional capabilities but I don't think I would have traded them for the time I spent with my childhood friends.
When you look at kids today, they look like mini-clones of adults. Little girls wear miniature spaghetti straps and sandals. Kids don't wear dorky clothes anymore like the kids of the 80's (mighty kid rubber shoes, maong pants and loose t-shirts...and the like) and they also have a heightened sense of awareness that the world is not as innocent as it used to be. Here's a little something...
Scene 1: Mommy Joan explains to 10-year old Paulina on the meaning of abortion. Little did they know that 7-yr old Mika was listening in on their conversation and says, "Thank God you didn't do that to me mommy!"
Scene 2: Gabriel got a sad face stamp because he was very inattentive during class. The school clerk asked him why he got a sad face and Gab dismissed her by saying "So!" Not knowing that what he said was very rude.
Scene 3: Enrique hears his mom swore over something trivial, and says "bad ka mommy!"
The things that children say can sometimes surprise most of us...but they also speak the truth. How I wish I had the innocence of a child...
Needless to say, my generation thrived on team work, They have bigger and better looking toys..with multi-functional capabilities but I don't think I would have traded them for the time I spent with my childhood friends.
When you look at kids today, they look like mini-clones of adults. Little girls wear miniature spaghetti straps and sandals. Kids don't wear dorky clothes anymore like the kids of the 80's (mighty kid rubber shoes, maong pants and loose t-shirts...and the like) and they also have a heightened sense of awareness that the world is not as innocent as it used to be. Here's a little something...
Scene 1: Mommy Joan explains to 10-year old Paulina on the meaning of abortion. Little did they know that 7-yr old Mika was listening in on their conversation and says, "Thank God you didn't do that to me mommy!"
Scene 2: Gabriel got a sad face stamp because he was very inattentive during class. The school clerk asked him why he got a sad face and Gab dismissed her by saying "So!" Not knowing that what he said was very rude.
Scene 3: Enrique hears his mom swore over something trivial, and says "bad ka mommy!"
The things that children say can sometimes surprise most of us...but they also speak the truth. How I wish I had the innocence of a child...
Sunday, November 07, 2004
Saturday, November 06, 2004
Thursday, November 04, 2004
Simple Pleasures
"Memories is a good thing if you don't have to deal with the past"
---Before Sunset
Would you...
Dance with the moonlight?
Succumb to the misty air?
Go barefoot in the sand?
Fall into the depths of the sea?
Would you...
Feel the sunshine
See the darkness with me?
or maybe something in between?
Would you...
Feel my waking hour
Now more than ever...
or be a dying ember?
We can be lost with the wind...
and one with eternity...
but the question is...would you?
For the bodoh, babi, monyet, lemah in me...
For my bersifat perempuan, tidak sedarkan diri..friend...
this one here is for the laughter, the endless banters, the poking, the tickling, the arguments, the companionship, and the joys of simply being together...i know it won't last but these moments are embedded in my memory no matter how bodoh you think i am...;-)
---Before Sunset
Would you...
Dance with the moonlight?
Succumb to the misty air?
Go barefoot in the sand?
Fall into the depths of the sea?
Would you...
Feel the sunshine
See the darkness with me?
or maybe something in between?
Would you...
Feel my waking hour
Now more than ever...
or be a dying ember?
We can be lost with the wind...
and one with eternity...
but the question is...would you?
For the bodoh, babi, monyet, lemah in me...
For my bersifat perempuan, tidak sedarkan diri..friend...
this one here is for the laughter, the endless banters, the poking, the tickling, the arguments, the companionship, and the joys of simply being together...i know it won't last but these moments are embedded in my memory no matter how bodoh you think i am...;-)
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