Choose Your Own Adventure

When I was three, I was concerned only with picking out which candy I want Mom to buy for me. In gradeschool, I was concerned with picking out my playmates, my favorite Barbie doll, and my favorite dress. In highschool, I was concerned with the kind of identity that I want to project, the clubs that can enhance my personality, the kind of friends I want to have. In college, it was choosing the right organization, the right course, and the best professors. It was also about choosing what to do after graduation. Then, after graduation, it was choosing between going to law school and working. I chose the latter.

From the time I was able to understand things, choices were handed down to me no matter how important or mundane it was. It felt like I was a character in a choose your own adventure book where you can see what happens if you choose a or b or c...the only difference is that in real life choose your own adventure, choosing one means you'll be left wondering what might have happened to you if you had chosen the other. I was never been able to go back to the start of the story and choose another path again. I think I speak for every one on this. Yet, in every decision I make, I keep in mind to have no regrets.

At 22, I know I made some bad choices especially in the men that I fall in love with (no pun intended..really..) My love for spontainety or getting myself into spur-of-the-moment things got me in trouble at one point or another. Sometimes my tactless mouth unintentionally hurt people I cared about. My lack of self-discipline and momentary depressions led me to gain more pounds rather than lose it. My choice to be really independent has led me to forget some values I held dearly. Admittedly, there is no one to blame but me and my quest to find my purpose in life.

I read this article entitled "Being Twenty-something" forwarded to me by a good friend, and it says that people my age are at their best and worst of times. It's true. I feel that I am at that point in my life where one minute I am laughing at a silly joke and then another I am ranting about the load at work, and sometimes there are moments where I feel like I am going in circles, going nowhere, trying to find my purpose in life.

Some say take my time, some say it'll pass...and I know it will...but for now the greatest challenge is choosing my own adventure and whatever was planned for me, making me, the heroine, a victor in the end. After all, isn't that what we all want?

For the people who taught me to believe in myself...

My Inner Strength...

Memories are like the scent of lemon grass
Has a sour taste but still very sweet
--The Scent of Lemon Grass by Jolin Tsai

This is long overdue..I haven't been able to update my blog...but anyway, here's a take on my recently concluded 22nd birthday....

It's not everyday that I turn 22. With every birthday comes realizations and promises from myself on things I have to do, avoid, and work on. I have so many things to be thankful for but these two things comprise all of it...

1. The gift of family and friends. I think that I am very lucky to have found genuine friends and a loving family who continue to support my decisions in life. Yes, I can be very stubborn at times but I try to back down once in a while. With the people in my life, I never really felt I had no room to grow. At 22, I feel that I am at my best where I can be virually almost anything that I want to be. How many people my age can say that?

2. Having a job that I love. I work hard because I love what I am doing. Training agrees with me and I have done it for so many years already. I don't get bored and I get to meet a lot of people. Each day is a learning experience. But don't get me wrong, it's not all milk and honey, I have to stay up late for OT to finish studying and preparing for class. I have to do a little paper work for evaluations and such but overall, the experience is well worth it.

Life is full of surprises and I am definitely surprised every day..in a good way that is...these people are what keeps me going...they are the reason why I still choose to live life...(so it's not true that being single sucks...it only sucks during christmas and valentine's day...haha)

Quotable Kids

Patintero, tumbang preso, piko, agawan base, langit-lupa, luksong baka, if you know these terms then you are part of my generation and probably the previous generations (mga oldies..hehehe). These are games that I used to play with my siblings, cousins and neighbors. Then there's the famous Barbie who debuted at the American Toy Fair in New York City in 1959. Imagine how old she is now! I don't remember my first Barbie but my favorite was the pregnant barbie who even had a baby inside her tummy. These days, most young girls play with Bratz, these hip looking dolls with pouting lips and sporting a look that says "don't mess with me". Now that is what they call "girl power".

Needless to say, my generation thrived on team work, They have bigger and better looking toys..with multi-functional capabilities but I don't think I would have traded them for the time I spent with my childhood friends.

When you look at kids today, they look like mini-clones of adults. Little girls wear miniature spaghetti straps and sandals. Kids don't wear dorky clothes anymore like the kids of the 80's (mighty kid rubber shoes, maong pants and loose t-shirts...and the like) and they also have a heightened sense of awareness that the world is not as innocent as it used to be. Here's a little something...


Scene 1: Mommy Joan explains to 10-year old Paulina on the meaning of abortion. Little did they know that 7-yr old Mika was listening in on their conversation and says, "Thank God you didn't do that to me mommy!"

Scene 2: Gabriel got a sad face stamp because he was very inattentive during class. The school clerk asked him why he got a sad face and Gab dismissed her by saying "So!" Not knowing that what he said was very rude.

Scene 3: Enrique hears his mom swore over something trivial, and says "bad ka mommy!"


The things that children say can sometimes surprise most of us...but they also speak the truth. How I wish I had the innocence of a child...

gabriel my cousin...ang gwapo noh?  

me and tina 

me, jared, jig, and jon 

fun times 

paulina at her best... 

gabriel.. 

Simple Pleasures

"Memories is a good thing if you don't have to deal with the past"
---Before Sunset

Would you...

Dance with the moonlight?
Succumb to the misty air?
Go barefoot in the sand?
Fall into the depths of the sea?

Would you...

Feel the sunshine
See the darkness with me?
or maybe something in between?

Would you...

Feel my waking hour
Now more than ever...
or be a dying ember?

We can be lost with the wind...
and one with eternity...
but the question is...would you?


For the bodoh, babi, monyet, lemah in me...
For my bersifat perempuan, tidak sedarkan diri..friend...
this one here is for the laughter, the endless banters, the poking, the tickling, the arguments, the companionship, and the joys of simply being together...i know it won't last but these moments are embedded in my memory no matter how bodoh you think i am...;-)